Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Smoking to Kill Less Than .01% of World's Population



What if this had that headline? Wouldn't that seem a little less ominous? A study by the American Cancer Society claims smoking is going to kill 5.5 million people globally. Lung Cancer, Emphysema, and heart disease are the causes listed. The first two I can agree with although, you can get Lung Cancer and Emphysema even if you don't smoke. But, with heart disease, how do they determine what is caused by a lifetime of smoking or a lifetime of 2" Ribeyes? The study continues with these gems (bullet points so reporters can just regurgitate):

- 50 million Chinese children, mostly boys, will die prematurely from tobacco-related diseases.

- Tobacco use will eventually kill 250 million of today's teenagers and children

By "premature" they mean 75 instead of 90, but by putting "die prematurely" and "boys" in the same sentence it sounds more horrific. Then, tobacco use will eventually kill 250 million. EVERYONE ON THE PLANET right now is going to die eventually including teenagers and children. Yes little babies are going to die at some point in the next 100 years.

These are all just numbers, so I wanted to find out the methodology. The initial report is the Tobacco Atlas from the American Cancer Society, but that is just an aggregate of research presented in colorful graphics and incisive one-liners about how we are all going to die of cigarette smoking. The Sources section points you to the WHO Report on the Global Tobacco Epidemic, 2008 which is short on health stats and long on control methods world wide. (yes let's track how well we are imposing and interfering in a person's personal health choices, WE KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU). That report is also an aggregate of research that points you to The Health Consequences of Smoking: A Report of the Surgeon General. The runaround turns into one big game of telephone because all of the numbers get rounded off and who cares if a smoker dies 14 or 15 years earlier than average, no one is doing any actual research anyway. They all scream subliminally "People are dying! We should do something! I know, ban smoking!". The last report had a bunch of executive summaries and bullet points so, I gave up. All of these premonitions of a tobacco-hazed wasteland of corpses disguised as real research favor lazy aggregating, snappy graphics, and pointed fearful statements about death. I never did figure out how they counted which cases of heart disease were caused by cigarettes in say, the Congo. I hear the coroners' reports there are kind of dense.

Yes, smoking is bad for your health. You can tell a person why it's bad, but ultimately it's up to the individual. Don't treat smoking like the spectre of the 14th century Black Plague. The counter argument to that is the costs to our society as a whole.

As it turns out, it actually helps us out. If you read this interview with W. Kip Viscusi, a professor of law and economics at Vanderbilt University, you will get to this question:

What are the differences between smokers' cost to themselves and smokers' cost to society?

The other study I've done is looking at the financial ramifications to smoking for the rest of us. These include higher medical costs on the one hand, but lower social security, pension, and nursing home costs on the other hand because smokers die sooner. On balance if you put those together, smokers don't cost us money, but save society $0.32 per pack.

Smokers die earlier, so it saves us money.

This simple logic makes me question the claim that "(t)obacco's total economic costs reduce national wealth in terms of gross domestic product (GDP) by as much as 3.6 percent." If you look and the abysmal GDP growth rate for the first half of 2009, it is -3.6%. So that would mean:

Production lost in worst recession in 80 years = Production lost from tobacco.

That does seem like it works, does it? It wasn't subprime mortgages, it was cigarettes!

The worst part of this is I don't smoke. I think smoking is bad for your health. I agree with what they are saying. But, I think that when institutions like the American Cancer Society trade on fear and panic, it dims their message. You can inform people, but when your message of health bleeds into a message of behavior control, you have lost your way and my respect.

-K

Monday, August 24, 2009

Quick Hits: August 24th, 2009

  • Why the hat Chuck? Why? The Binder and Binder commercial has no references to a Texas lawman, Crocodile Dundee, or frontier justice. But, BAM there it is.


  • From Bloomberg, we are all going to be infected with swine flu, well at least half of us. I would be worried, but Swine Flu is still less deadly than pregnancy.


  • Next time I'm in NYC, I am not leaving until I am on Cash Cab. I would crush it, no shout outs needed.


  • C where is my Megan Wants a Millionaire Murderer Post?


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Really MSNBC.com?



On MSNBC's website they posted this picture attached to one of the main stories for August 20th. It seems pretty innocuous until you read the first sentence of the story that goes along with it: Scotland releases the only man ever convicted in the bombing of a Pan Am jet that killed 270 people. The guy was convicted of blowing up a plane and he is walking up a Jetway with a banner that says, "Next time...Relax before you fly". Just relax before the physical manifestation of your worst fear about flying walks aboard the plane and sits next to you. Does anyone else find this hilarious, ironic, horrifying, and fear mongering all at the same time? No, just me? A terrorist is boarding a plane that say relax before you fly. Isn't that something that would be in a Wayans bros. spoof? I think it's great.


-K

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Euro States

Have you ever wondered how big European countries are compared to states in the US? No? Well, I was bored. Take that Slovenia!


























-K

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Steroids



Steroids saved baseball. The homers started flying and everyone was cheering. Mark McGwire turned into a Paul Buynan-level living folk legend right before our eyes. Baseball pariah, Jose Canseco, tells everybody who will (and many who don't want to) listen he and many others were on the juice the whole time. We applauded the thrills and jeered the cheating.

But, the cheating is what we liked. Think about it, these men were willing to negatively affect their health for your entertainment. At this point, you should be pissed if your favorite player didn't do steroids. Roughly the entire league is out their trying to get an edge and Johnny Morals is not going to harm himself for my amusement. Not to mention, the increase in production leads to bigger contracts. So, now you are rude and stupid. In the "loosey-goosey" era of steroids, many (most/all) players were voluntarily injecting themselves with needles to boost their stats by 10-20%. Would you shoot up something that shrinks your balls to be ten percent better at your job? No, no you wouldn't.


-K

Shoelaces



You sell dress shoes do you not Marshalls, Macy's, TJ Maxx, Men's Warehouse? Why the F don't you sell dress shoelaces. Thank you guy at Men's Warehouse who told me to go to CVS. I went there already. The ones they sell in between the condoms and the glue sticks aren't cutting it. That's why I'm coming to you. The dress/casual combo ones at Payless next to the Dora the Explorer sandals weren't going to do the job either (too thick, more casual than dress). Thank you DSW or congratulations on your process-of-elimination victory. They had one kind of brown shoelaces. I could have done without the whole coupon newsletter sales pitch for my $2.50 purchase though. Especially, since I said I already received the coupons in the mail hoping to speed my process only to have to feign being dismayed that they had no record of me under the fake phone number I gave them or my last name. Ah, well.


-K


Monday, August 3, 2009

Help the Homeless





...by putting them out of their collective misery.

Behold the majesty of Poverty Eradication Day. To participate in Poverty Eradication Day, just submit $100 deposit to your local food bank/soup kitchen. You will then receive a voucher, good at the same location, to give to an ambition-challenged substance abuser. This voucher will be good for free meals at the sponsoring food bank for one year. The hope is that those giving to this altruistic event will enable many bums to rid themselves of the daily fear of where to find a meal.

BONUS: If you act now, sponsoring organizations will throw in a gun with one bullet and a job application to hand out the Metro at various T stops throughout the city of Boston. Suggested recipients for Metro applications are the alcoholics who hold the door open for you at 7-11 and CVS. Simply, give them the application and say, "See you can do essentially the same thing and get paid for it." The single chambered-round gun however is only to be used on bums not the homeless. To tell the difference, a real homeless person, probably won't ask you for change, will be past out where he fell from walking around all night looking for a place to sleep, and will have all of his Earthly possessions with him, usually in a shopping cart (for mobility). A bum will look able-bodied, recently shaven, decently dressed, and will have no sense of shame. Also, the homeless move around a lot (probably due to not actually having a home), but bums will be at the same spot all the time asking you for money. It will appear as if they have a place to sleep, food to eat, and the ability to push a broom. Please only shoot these people.

Together, will the help of our communities, we can help eradicate poverty...and finally get these motherf(&%^s to stop asking me for change. We can eradicate poverty with a meal to the stomach or a bullet to the brain. Participate in Poverty Eradication Day today!

-K (founder)