The city home to world-renowned universities, excellent beer bars, and a slew of sites of historical significance is just not for me. The People's Republic of Cambridge houses such disdain for a system that has allowed many of its residents' (parents) to succeed it is impossible for an avowed capitalist to stomach. Cambridge is home to Dirty Hippies, Hipsters, and Crunchy Gays. These types are the ones who worship at the alter of Socialism and all of the utopian rainbows and communal ideals it brings. It's why Martha Coakley gets 88% of the vote over the Mass. Ave. bridge. (The Green Party siphoned off a few percentage points.) It shocks me that in the same place where Harvard, MIT, and Le Cordon Bleu Culinary College reside, people believe that de-incentivising hard work, giving people money, and central government planning is a good idea. There is a mountain of evidence to the contrary: USSR, Cuba, North Korea, Greece, many African countries, the slums of Mumbai, the Native American community, the prevalence of bums in your little slice of Marxist heaven, yet the Catabragians still want rich people to pay because it's government's fault or "these corporations" or rich people themselves or the World Bank. OK, fine, the profit-motive is equal to ten Hitlers, we get it. I have a feeling though that you don't really think collectivism would work in practice, you just hate the "mainstream". And, nobody hates mainstream more than Cambridge biggest plurality, the Hipster.I am convinced most Hipsters, while smart, don't know Friederich Engels from Peter Engel. One thought the Capitalist machine was oiled with the blood of the worker, one was the executive producer of Saved By The Bell. In fact, most Hipsters probably watched Saved By the Bell when it was on, enjoyed it, later hated it because more than 5 people liked it and no
w watch it because it's retro and we all know retro = cool. You've seen the Hipster out and about, he looks like this guy. A quick breakdown of their appearance: skinny jeans always, always, skinny jeans, a wool hat or weird asymmetrical haircut - bonus points for odd facial hair, a scarf no matter the season, a flannel or retro T-shirt from Goodwill, Chuck Taylors and non-prescription glasses because they are so much smarter than you. The Hipster hates the mainstream and it's physical embodiment, the Frat Boy. Even whoever wrote the Urban Dictionary definition of Hipster COULD NOT help himself from taking a shot at his oft-thought of intellectual inferior. A paradox has arisen, however, as the Hipster will frequently use the Frat Boy's urge to "get some brews" and beer-drinking in general as a mark of his marginally evolved brain, yet Hipsters invade beer bars. I guess when it's craft-brewed in small batches and served in cool glassware that makes it OK. Christ, slap "organic" on ANYTHING and it seems it has passed through Alternative customs. (I personally cannot wait until the Hipster love affair with craft beer wanes because I actually like the stuff and PBR tastes like shit and I want to be able to get into the Public House again. I hope they show a Duvel commercial during the Superbowl.) The Hipster is ultimately a hater, they don't actually "like" anything, they just choose to indulge in whatever is the opposite of mainstream. If Little Wayne gets enough suburban white kids to rock skinny jeans, the Hipsters will drop that style faster than when LL Cool J tried to rock the one-pant-leg up look. So, Cambridge, we understand, making money is evil, George Bush is a war criminal, and sports are dumb just stop being a hater. Don't OccupyBoston, occupy Porter Square and leave us alone, besides someone needs to subsidize your lifestyle.-K
