So Much for Fiscal Responsibility

Stephen Crowley/New York Times

The House of Representatives is getting ready for a dogfight. They are going to cut $100 billion dollars from the budget this year. That shouldn't be too hard since Congress authorized a $110 billion dollar auto bailout and spent $109.5 billion dollars on something called the Term Auction Facility that bought up banks (now pretty much worthless) mortgage-backed securities. Nope, it's going to be near impossible.

Why? Because when you keep giving people more and more money they get used to having it. So, when you try to take it away from them, they get mad and feel it's owed to them and will fight you to the death. They feel like it was their money all along and you are trying to rob them. It's pretty basic human psychology that Congress never seems to grasp. That and you don't spend other people's money, especially if its giant sums, like you would spend your own.

But, besides Congress' unreasoned thinking, they are going to try and cut the $100 billion dollars out of non-security discretionary spending. Which is the equivalent to implementing a salary cap in the NBA, but only on head coaches. Let's see, Medicare/Medicaid, Social Security, and the military account for 60% of the budget. Let's exclude that and apply the cut to the departments that probably shouldn't exist anyway, but will reactively (in a purely innate survival instinct kind of way) cause a huge stir should their money get touched. Why not bring everybody home from Afghanistan and Iraq? That was costing $100 billion a month last time I checked.

Unless, you touch the stuff that actually affects the systemic fiscal instability of the United States, Congress, you are not serious. This is the same arguing-for-show that people who actually believe in this stuff hate. If you are going to "do something about the spending" then ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING.

Eternally frustrated,

-K

Cut the Deficit, Just Not Anything That Causes the Deficit

I saw this graph attached to this article and immediately wanted to explode in rage. Apparently, people think the deficit is a problem that needs to be addressed either now or in the near future. (Yes, agree!) But, when given specifics with how to cut the deficit, most people don't want to touch anything that would actually do that. (Aaahhhh!) The two things that got a majority of support had to do with evil rich people or federal workers. My guess is that most people polled did not fall into those two groups therefore were able to agree with statements that would not affect them. That seemed to follow the theme of the poll. Yeah, cut the budget, but nothing that affects my life.

Listen people, Medicare/Medicaid, Social Security, and Defense are a large majority of the budget; two of those have their own tax. If you are not ready to touch those three things then you are not serious about cutting the budget. This why most of the Tea Party people are full of crap. Yeah, it's nice to say you're a fiscal conservative, I'm one, but if your not ready to privatize Social Security, use vouchers for Medicare, and dial down the Pentagon, you are not a budget hawk. America has 11 aircraft carriers in service. Do you know how many the country with the second most has? Two (UK and Italy). We are currently building three. Maybe we don't need a new $15 billion dollar aircraft carrier every four years since we have the only blue water navy in the world capable of projecting and sustaining its force. You know, stuff like that. Plus, terrorists don't have navies (or jet fighters).

Nobody wants real change, they want a nice speech that blames other people for their problems. I am probably going to scream about this until I die with nothing to show for it. America is finished. Buy gold bars and call it a life.

-K

E-mail to J.Crew

To Whom It May Concern:

First and foremost, I would like to preface this email by letting you know that I am very loyal J.Crew shopper. I have yet to find another store that provides such classic, yet still on-trend, well-fitting clothing that can be worn both at work and at play. Seriously, could there be a more versatile cardigan than the Jackie?!

That being said, I'm writing to you today to express my displeasure and disappointment with the utter state of disarray of the models on JCrew.com. When did Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl start moonlighting as one of your stylists? I get that you want to establish that your brand isn't just for WASPs from Greenwich, and hey, I'm all for diversifying your demographic! I guess what I am trying to say is, how am I supposed to know if the Taffeta Marvelle Mini (item # 32465) is the perfect addition to my holiday party ensemble when it looks like the model had far too much to drink at the Office Xmas Party the night before, had a one-night rendezvous with Chris from Accounting, and then tried to wear it to work the next day!? That obviously is not the look I'm trying to achieve. Seriously, though, she looks downright slovenly... I'm willing to overlook the unkempt hair and the heroin chic makeup if the models at least stood up straight so I could get an idea of how something fits.

I appreciate your consideration on the matter and look forward to seeing the models looking more "polished" in the future.

Best Wishes,

C

J. Crew gave this f-- off response:

Thanks for reaching out - really appreciate you taking the time to share
your thoughts with us. Will absolutely pass along to the appropriate
team.

Feel free to contact anytime - always available.

Best,
-----

I Want A Coffee

How hard is it to keep a coffee machine stocked?

On the great show Modern Marvels on the History Channel, they showed one of Home Depot's supply centers. It is the size of a one-cop town in the midwest. They execute a just-in-time inventory system. There are trailer loads full of 5/8ths washers, joyce hangers, and washing machines; nothing stays in the warehouse for more than 25 minutes. BUT, I can't get cups, stirrers, creamers and sugars in the same kitchenette at the same f'n time! Seriously, why do all the ingredients to make a cup of coffee come in haphazardly like we're in Bastogne surrounded by Nazis (watch Band of Brothers). This may seem trivial, but it screws up my whole day because now I have to plan a clandestine raid on other kitchenettes as opposed to doing work. Then, when we do get supplies, I have to hoard them like I'm some crazy white shut-in whose sister's death he can't get over so he lives among 8 years of garbage and 7 feral cats. Just keep the coffee supplies readily at hand, so I don't have to celebrate like Captain Planet was summoned every time I want a cup.

Who is the person ordering the flavors also? Do we need 4 rows of house blend? Multiple Columbia and Hazelnut? Yeah, that stuff goes, but give me one drawer of something cool. I mean I work in financial services so every other person is Asian. But, of course we only have two drawers of Green Tea which fly threw inventory to the point where people are clawing at the display case packet. Mix it up and know your demo Admin-who-orders-this-stuff!

-K

C Mailbag

I asked C, "Is this the most pretenious Yelp review ever?"

Timothy M.

Boston, MA

Ok. So I had heard about the charm about Carmen and it's romantic atmosphere in this tiny N. End dining spot. I read Melanie's review as well the others and looked up the Phantom Gourmet's review (which was surprisingly good) but I decided I will give it a try and form my own opinion. I made a reservation as they suggested, since the restaurant fills up fast especially on a Saturday night. The staff was friendly, although you this should be an expectation from everyone where you go and spend your hard earned money. The atmosphere was indeed charming. The dining room was tiny and crammed with small tables. Yet there were many candles giving it a more romantic like atmosphere (although I would not give Carmen the award for romance.) The food - the reason why most of us go out - was disappointing. To say it may be the best restaurant in Boston tells me that many readers hardly ever or never go out and if they do, they don't know what good food is. The truth is the food at Carmen was average or mediocre at best. It might have been better than a Vinny Testa's or Maggiano's but if so it would be a close race. You simply cannot say the food was good when you have other places of comparison such as The White Barn Inn in ME exists (BTW a PG 97 rating http://preview.tinyurl...
Per Se in NYC setting a world wide standard - http://perseny.com/ or French Laundry - http://www.frenchlaund.../ and closer to home restarurants like Clio & Mistral (with only 90 PG ratings BTW.) Before you can comment that the food might be the best ever, you have to first understand the rules. The rules are you must rate experiences on the full range, not in a vacuum. Carmen has not won national or international awards of excellence and it never will. There are good restaurants, great ones, excellent ones and then the very few standing on the top of the pyramid. Those few that do are like the great quarterbacks and athletes of our time. They simply are not that many relative to the population. The simple fact is the food here is what you would expect from the N. End - it was very average. You don't go somewhere and pay north of $25/$30 for a dish an expect mediocracy. You should instead expect excellence. Not here. If you want to try good food then instead of eating out twice or three times wait and save up your money for one of the places above and only then will you experience what true culinary talent can bring to your palete. Sorry Carmen but you are just like alot of other folks- very, very average.

Her response:
I feel like I should write to Tim and be like, honestly pal, great that you threw out two of Tom Keller's retaurants promptly after his new book was published and the James Beard Contenders just came out, but seriously, have you eaten at either of his restaurants???

Also, given his logic, contextually, shouldn't you rate restaurants on their demographic? For example, I loved the wings at the chicken bone, and would've given it 3 stars in that it was a good, convenient wing & beer place and it surpassed my expectations as such. I wouldn't put it up against Mario Batali's restarant in NYC (which PS I have eaten at) or even Strega or any one of Todd English's restaurants because they aren't comparable in their offerings...

I want to go toe-to-toe with Tim. What a dink!

Also, Tim spelt palate wrong. What a tool. I hate him.

She also had some Matt Lauer thoughts/panic attacks:

Matt Lauer cheated on his wife?!? I am more upset hearing this right now than I was over the following (in no particular order):

1.) My bday party invitations being backordered, and subsequently disco’d by the mfr

2.) Big Papi admitted juicing

3.) Tiger Woods train of beautiful, upstanding mistresses

4.) Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock. SANDRA BULLOCK!

5.) Britney Spears circa 2007

6.) Jason Varitek getting divorced due to infidelity

7.) Lindsey Lohan’s downward spiral post-mean girls

8.) The package store being closed by time I got home on Monday night

9.) John Mayer’s recent playboy interview

10.) That time you tricked me into watch the NFL draft.

If Matt Lauer (MATT LAUER!) and his hot wife can’t make it work, what are we doing?

...But it’s matt lauer! He isn’t famous really either. He’s supposed to be the all-american everyman! How could he do this?

-K

Artistically Challenged

If TV producers and movie makers could somehow send me promos of shows/movies beforehand, I could save them a ton of cash. ABC is now promoting a new show called Romantically Challenged which looks to be an overproduced, banal-humor-laden, safe, generic pile of crap. It will no doubt recycle lockstep stereotypes, trite, canned one-liners, and ridden into the ground like a Tiger mistress storylines. (But, she's not married, she's divorced!) It's all the same. If ABC had just talked to me, I could have told them, "Stop...stop...stop talking...no it's awful."

There is nothing especially bad about RomChan, (I've never seen an episode, I just know it will be bad. Prejudging? yes Correct? yes) it's just the same lowest common denominator horrible safe humor that network television seems to be all about. It's the same in movies. C gets pissed when I watch the lastest rom-com mad-lib preview and just cannot help myself by finishing the plot. (They fall in love despite the circumstances...every time...without fail.) She almost kicked me out of the theater during He's Just Not That Into You which had promise in the beginning and then turned on everything it believed in half way through. (Don't get married Ben Affleck, you won, she agreed, aaahhhh) I couldn't help but start a social commentary with a quarter of the movie still to go. Everyone of those art bastardizations deadens my nerves a little bit more. (She's uptight, he doesn't play by the rules!) Sometimes a writer will really gamble like author/rebel John Hamburg who pitched Along Came Polly as he's uptight and she doesn't play by the rules. Ugh. It's the same everytime people! Stand up for quality! George Clooney gets his heart ripped out in Up In The Air; oscar-nomination.

Why does it continue to happen? Well, of course money. These are pre-packaged, streamlined, efficient cash cows. Insert name actor and actress here. A self-serving entertainment exec will of course substitute original thought for free cash flow. They don't have any incentive not to. It's the same with actors. Just look at Jennifer Ainiston. She keeps making this same slop every year. At least have the decency to use the film as an elaborate ploy to bang your co-star like Gerard Butler did to you. The producers of these shows are guilty of having sedentary brains as well. Charlie Sheen can not wear a bowling shirt and cargo shorts every day of his life! That's lazy character molding. Do they think if he wears jeans people won't perceive the male fantasy ethos they have bestowed on him? No, don't make them think, aaahhhh.

I'm not an literary elitest snob Slate editor, I own the A-Team on DVD. I just want the entertainment industry to stop rehashing the same tired shit they've been recycling over and over. It's insulting. It's mentally insulting to me. Get some new cookie-cutters Hollywood. But, what do I know The Big Bang Theory is still on television?

At least Lost is on tonight.

-K

LeBron James Is Not Coming to the Knicks

Although this image is what every Knick fan would love to see in 2010, it's just not going to happen. Despite having a girth of contracts coming off the rolls after the 2009-10 season for the Knicks, the spectre of Isiah Thomas still remains. The Knicks DO NOT have a first round draft pick in 2010. Yeah, Utah has it. Eddy Curry, a chubby undersized center, and Jared Jeffries - who? exactly. - are both sitting on the chest of the Knicks' salary cap. Should Donnie Walsh hoodwink LeBron into coming to New York, the Knicks would have a tough time assembling anything resembling a playoff team. When you look at the contract situation for the Knicks, your hopes diminish quickly for a LeBorgasm of NBA championships happening at MSG.

A little math and reasoning will help explain my point. LeBron is going to sign for the max obviously. Under the current CBA, NBA players can earn no less than 105% of their current salary. That puts LeBron at $16,568,908 for 2009-2010, slightly higher than the max salary. This actually would be a pay cut for LeBron because he has a player option for next year that would pay him over seventeen million. But, considering the CBA is up for renegotiation in two years and his desire to play for a contender, he is likely to opt out and lock up a max deal.

The Knicks are not likely to resign any of their expiring contracts. 1) Because most of them are grossly overpaid and/or suck and 2) why would you align them to expire for 2010 if you were going to resign them. The Knicks have four players still on the rookie scale and both Eddy Curry and Jared Jeffries have player options they would be stupid not to exercise. Assuming they keep the Rooks, the roster starts off this way in 2010:

Eddy Curry $ 11,276,863
Jared Jeffries $ 6,883,800
Danilo Gallinari $ 3,304,560
Jordan Hill $ 2,669,520
Wilson Chandler $ 2,130,481
Toney Douglas $ 1,071,000
Lebron James $16,568,908

That's $43,905,132 of a $57,700,000 cap before you build out your team.

Because the Knicks will be under the cap for the first time since the Iron age, salary cap exceptions won't come into play next year. A NBA team can either have cap room or exceptions, but it can't have both. Still, $13,794,868 is a decent amount of cash to sign players.

The Knicks would need a point guard to start off with. Since reactions to Chris Duhon have been tepid at best and suicidal at worst, I think the organization might go in a different direction. The hardcore Knicks fans at the UltimateKnicks forum came up with some reasonable suggestions, mainly Ray Felton or Randy Foye. I'll use the mid-level exception as a proxy for either of those two's salary. The Knicks would need to fill out the frontcourt next. My guess it that they could convince David Lee to resign for $6.5 mil if they gave him a five year deal. That would make the Knicks undersized, but a slow plodding center doesn't really fit in the 7 seconds or less run and gun style of Mike D'Antoni. Sounds like a decent team until you realize you now only have $1,440,868 to fill 5 roster spots including a starting shooting guard. That's not even enough to pay Nate to keep racking up DNPs. If you went with this plan, the resulting roster would be:

PG Ray Felton or Randy Foye
SG 4th best SG from the D league
SF LeBron James
PF Danilo Galinari/Wilson Chandler
C David Lee

That doesn't look like a LeBorgasm, it looks like a LeBortion.

See, this is where having a top 5 pick in the draft would have helped. You could draft a SG or a C and be able to sign him, even if you were over the cap. But no, Isiah had to trade the unprotected 2010 1st round pick to the Suns for Stephon Marbury in 2003. His thinking was probably, "I won't be here when that happens." Maybe he was shrewder than we think...naaaahhh. Just to reiterate: THE NEW YORK KNICKS DO NOT HAVE A FIRST ROUND PICK IN 2010.

So what's the solution? Move Curry or Jeffries? That would be nice, but NO ONE is taking on Curry's contract unless the Clippers stupidly trade Kaman to save a year on his contract and set themselves up for a run at Kobe in 2011-12. Curry is dead weight. No team would take him especially when a lot of other teams are trying to align themselves the same way the Knicks are for the coming free agent class. As for Jeffries, the Knicks have been supposedly been "showcasing" him lately. He has showcased himself to the tune of 4 points and 3 rebounds per game. Again, I don't think anyone is biting.

I hate to say it, but the Knicks just don't have the pieces to lure LeBron to NYC. Even if he was dead set on coming to New York, they would still be a few years away from a championship. The Knicks are in a tough spot especially with expectations mounting. But, the pickings are slim after the top 3 free agents. The Knicks should probably wait this thing out another year. Curry and Jefferies will be gone and they will have a draft pick. I'm hoping one of basketball's cornerstone franchises returns to greatness or even 3-seed Eastern Conference Finals semi-greatness, but it is not going to happen with LeBron in blue and orange. Sorry.

Sources: Larry Coon's Salary Cap Info, Sham Sports' great player salary page

-K

P.S. I would love to see LeBron in NYC, so feel free to shred my assumptions, mock my theory and figure out a better way to get him here.